Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
