i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Randomize
