we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
