Plan B is the new Plan A
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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