everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
