i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
