i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
