Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
