I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
