Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
