Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
