ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
