No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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