I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
