brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
