There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
