it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize