Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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