i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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