I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
this will be a night to untag.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
