I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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