hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I supernannyed him into submission
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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