Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it hurts more in the daytime
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
