my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
