So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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