guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
