Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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