this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
