I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
