My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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