I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
