You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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