One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
