dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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