and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
