You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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