I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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