maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
