so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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