after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
