I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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