good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How external is "for external use only"?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
