I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
