garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
