don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
