So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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