At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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