If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also, beer. Big fan.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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