All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
