Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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