roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
